Mother Shaming: Poverty, Feminism and Young Pregnancy

This week’s report on the US teen birthrate is a time for us to think critically about the relationship of young pregnancy to oppressed communities.

I was in eighth grade the first time a close friend of mine got pregnant, and many more of my good friends would become parents before I graduated high school. Though the area of the country in which we grew up held a teen birthrate below that of the national average, in our racially and economically varied communities it was youth of color and from low income backgrounds who tended to have kids at a young age. As a result, I came up seeing all kinds of social stigmas acted out on young brown people–primarily women–by my school system, the state and the community at large, from flagrantly prejudiced language and behavior, to the labeling of the kids of teen parents as inherently backward and incapable. These often undeniably sexist, racist and classist sentiments were shrouded under the guise of concerned authority, and deemed reasonable responses to the “plight” of teen pregnancy.

This past week it was announced by the Centers for Disease Control that, once again, Mississippi is the state with the highest teen birthrate in the country. (That it is the Centers for Disease Control which report these statistics I think is noteworthy.) The Huffington Post article on the report links to a supplemental video which states that teen mothers “…cost taxpayers more than 9 billion dollars annually,” and which goes on to purport the links between teen pregnancy and poverty, single parenthood, health complications and behavioral problems in children. The outpouring of reactions to the report has been predictable, with many responses pointing to teen pregnancy as a root cause of unemployment, financial depression and lack of education, as if to say in chagrin, “Don’t teen parents know that they are dooming themselves and their children?” While these reactions jab at and condescend to the populations in question–sometimes poor people, sometimes southerners, sometimes people of color, sometimes religious conservatives, but almost always women–none of them imagine young pregnancy as a cultural difference existing in communities which are already stigmatized, devalued and ignored by a social order dependent on their subservience.

This type of sexist, classist and racist mother shaming doesn’t only come from national boards, mainstream media and communities of privilege. In the communities I belong to, and in many of the programs for oppressed youth I have been involved in and worked for, these attitudes are just as prevalent, and are sometimes expressed more vocally. I know of multiple youth empowerment projects in low income and brown communities which cite the parenting rates of their young members against those of the larger community, to prove the effectiveness of their programing. This happens even in programs run by oppressed people themselves. These kinds of practices generate the same dynamics which lauding oppressed youth for staying out of prison or going to college also create (statistics which I often see cited by these same programs). They denigrate and demonize teen parents–much like we do incarcerated people and those who are not formally educated–creating rifts and hierarchies within the very communities we claim to be fighting for. By doing this, we are imagining not only that there are certain kinds of acceptable community members, but equally that teen parents (and incarcerated and non-formally-educated people) are not a part of our communities, not still teaching and shaping our views of ourselves, not voices which we need to hear to in order to determine how to move forward collectively. Any movement which seeks to liberate women, to challenge the prison industrial complex, to advocate education, and which does not reach out for the wisdom and experience of these populations as a necessary tool, is making a grave mistake.

I do not mean to pretend that young pregnancy is not problematic, complex, and a real issue to be examined within our communities. Teen parents make up a large part of my family, my friends and the parents of some of the most important people in my life. I know that a chapter of one’s life closes when they become a parent, and that for young parents this can be difficult to come to terms with. I’ve been with friends when a parent didn’t show up to a performance or ceremony because they were going out to party. I’ve heard peers complain about not being able to get help on their homework because their guardian had never reached that level of math in school. Young pregnancy generates real complications for our communities. But we have got to find ways of addressing these which do not bash mothers, shame the children of teen parents, and measure ourselves and our communities by the standards of systems which require our denigration in order to function. For these are the exact tactics which turn us against each other, forcing us to expect individuals to pull themselves out of abjectness, failing to see clearly the systems which maintain us all as abject. They are the workings of power to silence the exact people whom we should be listening to if we are to learn how to challenge sexist, racist and classist orders of inequity.

A radical view of our justice system tells us that the prison industrial complex creates criminals by criminalizing the actions and practices of certain populations of people. A queered view of our education system reveals that school is a structure created to support an inherently inequitable economic order, and just like that order, within it there must inevitably be winners and losers. Young pregnancy seems to be an area in which we still attack and decry young, poor and brown people–especially women–for their ignorance, lack of discipline and self-awareness. Isn’t it time we take a more critical look at the “disease” of young pregnancy and its relationship to oppressed communities, too?

6 responses to “Mother Shaming: Poverty, Feminism and Young Pregnancy

  1. That is well put. These young mothers should not be demonised but rather supported. Demonising them will only perpetuate the social and economic inequalities and then what chance do they or their children have. I notice these studies never mention the other parent. Intervention strategies need to target them too. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

  2. This is an excellently-written piece. I definitely agree that stigmatisation does nothing to address the issues that cause teen pregnancy. In fact, it only perpetuates the cycle. I also wonder about how exactly it is that these teens are getting initiated into sex so young. Some of them are likely to be victims of molestation and abuse, making them especially vulnerable.

    I wrote a piece that touched on stigma and teen pregnancy a while back. Feel free to check it out:

    • Thank you very much for your response, and for sharing your blog! I definitely think that the relationship that abuse has to young pregnancy is an important conversation to have, but not a link we should assume. One of the ways in which we degrade young mothers, I think, is by assuming their sense of sexuality must be the result of trauma or inappropriate behavior. I think there are ways to talk about young pregnancy which do not bar sex for young people, and do not pretend that youth do not or should not have their own sense of sexuality. This is a lesson that many of those who bash oppressed communities may actually stand to learn from them.

  3. I love this piece. I have found this to be true not only just for teen parents, but surprisingly for someone like me who is WELL out of my teens and college-educated. However, I am unmarried, unemployed, young and Black and am constantly barraged with subtle accusations of being a “Welfare Queen” and unfit to be a parent. Rather than shaming women for their choices (which were not bad alone) why not give them the support to create healthy, happy and successful relationships with their children.

    • Yes! I totally agree. One of the biggest problems friends of mine had in high school was fighting through the disapproval of their pregnancy to garner the support they needed to build a healthy environment for their child to come into. The prejudiced attitudes which we are permitted to take up against young mothers often work to create the exact kinds of barriers we then scorn those same mothers for not being able to predict when they got pregnant. And even for those of us who are not young, not women, not mothers, not poor, we can see how these sexist/classist/racists views come to effect and hurt our entire communities, not just the young mothers they target, when some of those views get turned back on us. Thank you so much for your insight!

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